I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
