Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
