Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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