She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize