she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
