Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
