just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
