Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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