Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
