Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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