You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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