Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Randomize
