did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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