Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
