I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
