please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
