Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
