I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
