i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
