just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
