I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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