when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
