Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize