if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
