I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
