I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
