I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
PS: I just woke up from my shower
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
