Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
