I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
