Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
