he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
