new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize