I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize