Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
