The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
