last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
