If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
MIDGETS
????
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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