Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize