dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
