"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
