I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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