Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he fucked my hip out of place.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
