i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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