So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
