I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
