Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So squirting runs in the family.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
