I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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