A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can't put those talents on a resume
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need water and some morals
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
