i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
