taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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