next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize