What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Success! We fucked roommates!
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