He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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