I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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