just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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