We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We have started to decorate penises.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize