Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
