remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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