There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
