I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize